Proactive Introvert’s Story. Part 2: When Growth Comes at a Cost
Balancing ambition, success, and the risk of losing yourself along the way.
When Your Path Changes, but Your Principles Stay the Same
As is often the case, one era gives way to another. The outside world set its own terms - crises, shifting trends, new opportunities. We let go of our snowboarding projects. They had always been more about the community than the business, and we had fully realized ourselves there, doing meaningful work to develop snowboard culture within our sphere of influence.
But something new was calling. My intuition told me it was time to shift direction. It wasn’t just about business - it was about personal transformation. I didn’t just want to make money. I wanted to create something that would live, grow, and evolve alongside people.
And so, a new chapter began - one full of challenges, unexpected lessons, and inner conflicts. We transformed our store: built our own brand, restructured our community, and redefined our audience. Over time, we evolved from a place for snowboarders into a hub for street culture.
But one thing remained unchanged: everything we built, we built for people. Our community kept the project alive and growing. And if you’ve ever seen your work make someone truly happy, you know exactly what I mean. That feeling - it’s the greatest reward. We weren’t just selling products. We were selling emotions.
➡ Success doesn’t come from trying to fit into the market - it comes from creating something you wish existed in the world.
The High-Stakes Game of Small Business
For years, we built a new brand, rebuilt customer trust, and earned the respect of new partners. It wasn’t just about growing the company - it was about my own growth as an entrepreneur. Endless learning, books, inspiring stories from other founders, trying to understand how they overcame challenges.
At some point, I realized we were no longer just a local business. At international trade shows, people recognized our logo on my business card. Major global companies started recommending us to their local partners. It was a time of achievements - but also a time of uncertainty.
On one hand - adrenaline, excitement, the thrill of progress. On the other - endless invoices, heavy responsibilities, the fear of making mistakes. When your signature on a contract represents enormous sums of money, your perception of “awareness” shifts. Mistakes are too expensive.
But here’s the paradox: the higher the stakes, the greater the rush. And that’s the trap - you get so caught up in the game that you stop noticing how it’s consuming you.
➡ The real risk isn’t losing. The real risk is winning at the cost of yourself.
Balancing Efficiency and Humanity: The Illusion of Control
During those years, I was obsessed with filling my life only with “productive” activities. Every minute had to be optimized. I worked, grew the business, trained, read, implemented new habits.
I was proud of it. The idea that I wasn’t wasting a second gave me energy. But then I started noticing something - my pace didn’t match the people around me.
At some point, I realized I was living in a world where there was no space for random conversations, pauses, or even rest. Everything was scheduled. Everything was under control. And yet… something was slipping away.
Conversations became mechanical, emotions muted. I was efficient, but I was losing my lightness. Losing the ability to just be - not a high-performance machine, but a human being.
➡ If you live in constant efficiency mode, sooner or later, you stop being human.
The Post That Became a Mirror
One day, I came across a Facebook post from a former colleague I had once worked with:
“I want to share a story about a simple boy. It was over 20 years ago. We started working together. The boy had a dream - one that, perhaps, only he truly believed in. We all thought, ‘He’s so ordinary, what could he possibly achieve?’ But he kept going. Persistently, deliberately.
Today, I was on the metro and saw a passenger holding a branded shopping bag from his store. And today, it’s not just a store - it’s a brand. And I thought of just one thing: we’re all running around, rushing through life, while this simple boy has achieved so much. I’m truly happy for you, Eugene Grin.”
The post struck me. This should have been a moment of triumph, right? But instead of joy, I felt… emptiness.
I was like an overworked racehorse. Physically, I was holding up. Mentally, I was burning out.
And the worst part? I knew it. But I couldn’t do anything about it.
➡ Burnout doesn’t begin the moment you collapse. It begins the day you first realize you’re losing yourself—and choose to ignore it.
What’s Next?
I had fallen into a classic entrepreneur’s trap - when the business becomes more important than yourself.
I knew this couldn’t go on.
But what do you do when you can’t stop?
In the next part, I’ll share how I dealt with this state, the difficult but necessary decision I made - and how it changed my life.
➡ If you’ve ever felt like you were losing yourself in the name of efficiency, subscribe. This story might not just be about me.